Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
