RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
