I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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