I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
