i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
