i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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