There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
