Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize