omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
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