I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
