Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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