how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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