Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
