I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
