i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize