So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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