Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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