it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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