like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
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The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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