You're completely useless in the revolution.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
