I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
