Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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