whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
