Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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