have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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