The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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