i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
