I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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