is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
