Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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