I bet he comes in French.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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