sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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