This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
