he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
