if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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