I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
