two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
