just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
