hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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