I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
As shirtless as possible
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
