im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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