Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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