Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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