I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
