i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
