I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
