New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
