I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
