My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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