Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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