stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
