We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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