five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's always time for handjobs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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