I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
