We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
