May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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