I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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