I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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