Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
