summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
