i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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