And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
