Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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