that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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