Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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