Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
